me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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