I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
