I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
