i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize