Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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