Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize