U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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