Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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