You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize