I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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