Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
