Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
