you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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