We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
A+ Viking dick
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