well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
