i think my tv is drunk
Screwed.edu
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I intend to get homeless drunk
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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