i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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