I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
