UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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