Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That accounts for only three of the penises
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
