so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
