I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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