so that wasnt chicken after all
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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