the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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