Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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