no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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