Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize