so explain again why im purple
no
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
