I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
