so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
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