i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
