I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
