my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
