Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
