She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
