Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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