I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
