so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
