I think my fart just growled at me.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
