why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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