..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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