If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
