dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
