I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
