DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
worst night to have a conscience
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
