Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
