u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize