Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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