In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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