I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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