Having a random hookup so left but love u
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
