Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
