Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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