I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
