I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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