so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize