Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
