Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize