Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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