YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
