No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
