he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
