he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
