This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Boobs speak an international language.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just high enough for therapy.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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