I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
