then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
