I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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