Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize