I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
