I feel like I'm in dance class right now
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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