doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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