there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Enjoy the penises
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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