i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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