i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
