As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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