thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
