she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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