okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
