I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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