i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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