margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize